very isolated chosen person

I was standing on the porch talking to my Mom on the phone last Wednesday

Seder Plate

when she told me she was going to a Seder, which is the Passover dinner.  Imagine my shock!  As a lonely, lonely Jew in Texas, these holidays always get me by surprise.  And that’s the worst thing because Passover is the best Jewish holiday, the one I really miss.

In most cases it rules to be the token Jew.  You get certain advantages.  Lucy and I battle sometimes about presentation and logistics for our espresso business, but when it comes to money matters she defers to me, which is funny since I’m so very broke!  And then people always assume that being Jewish means I’m smart.  It almost doesn’t matter what I do.  What??  You saw me at a drum circle rolling on the ground and talking philosophy to a cat?  Impossible, I’m a descendant of Israel!  I must have been practicing a Shakespearean monologue or something.

It wasn’t so easy back home in New York.  Even my Espiscopalian high school

See? Where's me lucky charrrms?

was 60% Jewish, and I think I remember hearing that there are more Jews in New York City than in Israel, so really I’m just like everybody else there.  And by New York standards, I’m not all that Jewish.  My Dad was, but my Mom converted from Catholicism (Judaism follows the maternal line).  I was never bat mitzvah-ed and don’t speak any Hebrew.  Plus, did you check out that picture?   I look exactly like the Irish bar-maid who ran off with your very last potato when you were in Dublin.

So, the point is that I love being this unique Hebraic character in Texas.  But sometimes there’s a cost for being exotic.  And this year, I thought the cost would be Passover, which is just so sad.  It was a big part of my upbringing.  It’s a cultural more than a religious heritage for me and a lot of other people, and it’s a great day to share with friends.  Passover is an especially participatory and welcoming holiday.  I kind of started tearing up when I was telling Lucy about it, because all the temple Seders were full.  So she asked her landlord/roommate Billy and he said we could hold it there.  It continues to amaze me, btw, that Lucy and I aren’t sick to death of each other yet.  But lo, we’re still pleased to hang out at night even after all our days together!

There were 8 or 9 people at the service, one of whom thought he’d been invited to a regular dinner and was confused by everything.  It went over pretty well considering we didn’t know what we were doing.  I forgot some stuff like explaining why it’s called Passover and how you’re supposed to set an extra glass out for “Elijah”.  We also only drank 2 glasses of wine instead of the prescribed 4, so there must have been big gaping holes, but the goyim didn’t know any better.  It was still intriguing to everyone and a very happy day.

here’s a link to the video Bill made (ps Thanks Bill, you were a great host and cook!)

Ok, I’m going to go count some money now!!  haha I make BEEEG joke.  L’chaim everyone!